#sheldon is the clingy one

[justtakeout]

the thing with sheldon is, his analogies often seem off or like they don’t fit what he’s talking about. but when you really look into what he’s saying, there’s usually a deeper meaning. while it makes him sound a bit disconnected, it’s actually how he makes sense of things.

the best part of this scene is that, despite everything, sheldon still wants to walk with amy.

[tunabunk]

Short husband and tall wife ✨ moment ✨

Fun facts:

• Honestly, Marie is more of the clingy one to Sheldon

• He likes to call her ‘blossom,’ since her childhood home in Calamari County had cherry blossom trees

• His ramblings about weapons helps her to relax or to go to sleep

[voloimpregnant]

Get to Know Me!

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Name: Ozzy/Oz, Ness, Claus, or Johnny! (you can also give me a name.)

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Pronouns: He/She/They/Ninten

(Ninten is my neopronouns! — Ninten/Nintens/Nintenself/Nin/Nins/Ninself)

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Flags: Bisexual, Agender, Lycangender, Polyamorous, Gamegender

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Race: American white person, who can speak Icelandic!

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hyper-fixations: Earthbound, Mother, The Outsiders, The Karate Kid, Eight is Enough, Teachers(1984), Half-Life, Portal, HLVRV, HLVRAI, The Wind Waker, Rumble Fish, Splatoon, Pokemon, Sonic, Ask The Reckoning, Star Fox, Mario(Wario games, mostly), South Park, HellPark, Homestuck, Helluva Boss, Hazbin Hotel, Rivers Edge, Sons of Anarchy, Grease, Willard(2003), MegaMan, ETCETERA!

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B-DAY: June 4th, 2010. (also celebrated on March 1st..) a Gemini! ♊️

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Extra: Greaser, Gamer, Simp/Fanboy, Rockabilly, Artist, AU Maker, OC Maker, Depressed, Jumpy, Overthinker, Anxious, Bi-Polar, Artist(Singer), Hates easily, Scared easily, Therapist friend, An Outsider(NOT A REF PLEAS), Clingy, Jealous, Broken, 60s-80s kid, i make alot of stupud references, EASILY TRIGGERED! Etcetera..

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Triggers: Abuse/parental abuse, bullying/getting jumped, bob sheldon, hate on another character i love, death to characters i like, Socs, buildings on fire(especially churches eveb tho i laugh at them burning besides windrsxville i hate that place. I HAVE REASON AND YOU ALL SHOULD KNOW THW REASON), Persona 4, ME not knowing how to help those in need. ONE BIG VERY IMPORTANT TRIGGER (besides the bullying) is that i start to break down when one of my friends end up hurting themselves and i cant do anything about it.

PLEASE still ask me for help.. i’ll do my best. i dont care about the trigger, i just want you okay🥺

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⭐️STAY GOLD!!⭐️

[luvwlw]

sheldon has always been the clingy one and btw i'm too soft for this 🥹

This is still one of my favorite scenes. She has him right where she wants him. I have always found it fascinating that, the second Amy seems disconnected from Sheldon and independent, those are the times when he seems the most fascinated by her, the most willing to act to keep her. As much as he complains that Amy is always “on him” about this, that, or the other, he is really the clingy, overly emotional one in the relationship.

I have always imagined his marriage proposal to her will be along the same lines as his proposal that she be his girlfriend. I hope not in terms of my feels, but, in terms of humor, it would be comedy gold.

[monstaxdirtywonk]

Love Syndrome

Member : Wonho X reader

Genre : Fuff, some angst, some smut

Synopsis : A girl obsessed with Neurology takes an experiment on dating Hoseok, who has no idea this is a joke to her. Her experiment will turn against her when she’ll actually start falling in love...

 You weren't like the other girls. Maybe this will turn out to be one of those memes online but no, you truly meant it. As a kid, you despised dolls and castles, pink and unicorns. You showed a great interest in mechanics, cars (mostly destroying them and notice their parts), puzzles and balls. Truth be told, you were proud of yourself and how independent you grew to be. Your friends were crying every once in a while for that hottie blondie who broke up with them, while you did your best at comforting them. Relationships were an unnecessary drama, one you did not want to take part in. You’re fine the way you are! An academic career is in front of you, traveling the world and finally, being what you always wanted...a woman of logic, of sense, of credibility. No drama, no annoying clingy boyfriends, no crying sessions. No. No. No. You know what's best in life and that’s what’s your way. 

Your friend Val was over for support. There’s been a month since she broke up with the ex and still can’t let go. After hours of fake sentimentalism, you’ve had enough.

“You know what...I’ve got the perfect solution for you.”

Val raised her teary eyes and looked curiously to your side.

“You can get a dog! Yes that’s perfect, I should’ve thought about it sooner,

“okay thank you for trying to make me laugh but it’s not helping.”

“This isn’t a joke. it’s a real solution and a much more practical one than me just telling you sweet nonsense of ‘comfort’. Dogs, when in contact with humans, release a chemical in our brain called oxytocin, just like when you are with your partner. Instead of having the side effects and ups and downs of a relationship, a dog is much more devoted and drama free. Boom, you’ve got double win.”

“I swear sometimes I feel like you’re Sheldon from Big Bang theory in a female form.”

“Thank you for that compliment but I am not as good as the flawless mastermind Sheldon himself is.”

“You know what, Ima leave before we fight, the least thing I’m looking for is this.”

“Okay fine but think about it.”

You said as you made your way to the door along her. Val grinned and left without a second word. I mean you were right, even you thought of adopting a cute poodle. It’s much better than ‘adopting’ a boyfriend. Plus dogs are always happy when they see you. Maybe a dog is a good idea.

You checked the watch and it hit you.

“Damn, I’m late!” you exclaimed and took your purse heading out of the door.

----

‘When in love, you experience a rush of hormones to the brain — including oxytocin, the “love hormone,” the “pleasure hormone” dopamine, and sex hormones like estrogen and testosterone. ‘

You aren’t the type to believe in coincidences but if they exist, this can’t be one. Out of all those subjects, did they have to talk about love’s effect on the brain today? Unbelievable. But interesting at the same time, no wonder everyone’s so invested in this called ‘dating culture’.  

“Y/N, we’ll be in the cafeteria downstairs. Don’t be too late.”

“I won’t I promise.”

The proffessor looked at you intensely. You noticed and moved your head upwards.

“Actually I’ll close the class! Sorry about that but I have my lunch break.”

“Ah totally. I’m so sorry Mr.Jones for ‘eating your time away’” You laughed at your own pun and he did too.  

You slow-run to the exit and the moment you reached the door, you collided with someone and your books fell to the floor.

“Oh I’m sorry I can’t believe I’m so careless at times.” his voice, a sweet sound contrary to his muscular physique.

“No, it’s my mistake actually. I wasn’t looking straight, per usual.” he laughed and colected your books.

“I mean, you didn’t have to.”

“It’s the least I can do for bumbing into you like that. My Hulk self should be a little more careful since I might knock out someone.”

You laughed genuinely after a long time. He noiticed and smiled in satisfaction.

“So, you’re studying Neurology?”

“Ugh? Ah yes I do! It’s very interesting. Some might find it boring but it’s so exciting to learn about the wonder our body, our mind is.”

He was staring at you in awe. Probably thinking of you as a terrible nerd. Judging by his looks, he seemed the gym guy, totally off your valley.

‘I’m sorry. It gets boring for some.”

“No. Not at all. I admire those that are so passionate with what they’re doing. I would just like to add something more to your sentence.”

“...and what’s that?”

“the wonder our body, mind and soul is.”

Normally you’d think of it as lame. Actually it was cheesy but he is a pleasant surprise. It was unfair to judge him based on his looks after all.

“I guess.” you answered semi-sure.

“Now you might excuse me but I gotta go. It was nice talking to you.”

“Bye” you waved cringing at the silly child-like act.

----

The library was surprisingly empty for a uni with so many students. You took advantage and went there to study further for your upcoming exams. Suddenly a voice interrupted your train of thought and you were this close to cursing.

“Hey!” someone shout out in excitment, earning himself agressive shhs from the few students sitting there. He murmured a sorry and came your way. It was the guy that bumbed into you a couple of days before.  

“Hey” you answered as quietely as possible.

“So..” he said obviously nervous by his hand movements and red tint on his cheeks.

“I forgot to tell you my name and that was rude, wasn’t it?”

You didn’t answer because it wasn’t rude.

“I’m Hoseok.” he extended his arm for a hand shake.

You felt his pulse rising to dangerous vibrations. He was nervous for sure. Maybe you’re reading into it too much...

“Nice to meet you Hoseok, I’m Y/N.”

“You know I feel sorry to interrupt you but I’d like to offer you a drink, as a way to apologize.”

“You don’t have to! It wasn’t anything disastrous.”

“Is that a no?” he asked with puppy eyes, eager for an answer. You didn’t want to let him down, plus he seemed like a nice guy.

“You know what, let’s go but I’ll pay for my drink.”

“I insist.” you smiled at his stubborness.  

----

“So..” Hoseok said while stirring his coffee.  

“yees..” you answered looking back at him with curious eyes.

“I was thinking...if you’d like us to grab a snack/drink from time to time.”

You nodded hapily. You wanted a new friend especially when it’s someone as good and funny as Hoseok.

“Ah yes totally! I’d love to be your friend. You’re so funny and all!.” you replied and touch his arm playfully.

Hoseok sighed and his face seemed a bit dissapointed.

“Oh so you view me as a friend?”

“Yes...isn’t that what you wanted too?”

He moved closer and took your hand in his. It was a brave move and even tho his eyes were uncertain, his body language said otherwise.

“I mean, actually dating. You and me, more than friends.” he said and left your hand, letting you to decide on your own.

This came out of nowhere. You weren’t expecting this to be said so fast but here he is, right in front of you, asking. Hoseok had every charateristic a girl would want. Funny,smart and what seems like high levels of testosterone judging by his muscular body and prominant jawline. But, you didn’t know if this was enough. Relationships aren’t for you and you don’t  want to take time off your studies. You don’t even have feelings for him in the first place. You don’t have feelings for anyone, they are pointless attempts of nature to make you birth offsprings and save the specie from dissapearing.  

He studied your face for any expression that might suggest your answer but there was none. You were lost in those rapid thoughts and didn’t know what to do. When you finally came out of it and saw his pleading expression you shouted out

“YES” you bought your hand in front of your lips to shush yourself.

Hoseok smiled the brighest and most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen. His eyes were sparkling in hapiness and felt relieved to hear you, his cheeks rosy again. His beauty made you forget, the horror you just said. Did you just said...yes? How can you do such a thing? You don’t even have feelings for him. 

You sighed and he noticed.

“Don’t feel pressured. We will take things as slowly as you want them to be.”

Little did he know that wasn’t it.  

“Ah thank you Hoseok for being so understanding. Now I gotta go because … I gotta go. See you later.”

“Talk to you later” he said

“Oh and I forgot, can I have your phone you know...”

Typical couple things  

«Yes» you said and wrote your number down.

----

“What do I do when we walk side by side?”

You asked Val while holding a notebook in your lap, making small marks to study later.

“Just be natural! Don’t study for a date too”

“How can I be natural? I’ve got no idea what’s up with all this dating thing you guys do like it’s breathing or something. I will watch Netflix series once you’ll leave, those stupid crybaby ones, to find out more.”

“Ugh, okay you hold his hand too? maybe?”

“hold..his..hand..too..” you repeated while writing it down. It’s not that hard after all, unless he takes things further which he said won’t be happening.

“Now you can leave or you can leave because I’ve got very important things to do.”

“Very important aka watching Netflix.”

“Exactly” you nodded while laughing.

“okay I’m not gonna stay any longer either you know...i’m prone to crying.”

“Yes I know plus your PMS makes things even worse, I mean it’s normal you know with all those chemical and hormonal imbal...”

the sudden sound caught you off guard, Val really didn’t seem like the type that wanted to learn. You sighed loudly and moved to the couch. You truly made a mess. You didn’t want to hurt him with saying no, but if you say no now, it’ll hurt him even more. It’d be best if he didn’t have feelings but according to his body language and days he’s been exposed to your pherormones, he is in and deep. It might be beneficial tho, it’s not the most humanatarian idea but you can make the best out of a bad situation. Maybe, if you live through a relationship, you’ll be able to grasp why it means so much to others. An experiment.

It won’t hurt anyone, right?

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Okay, let’s get to know Despair, Apathy, Rebel, Insomnia, and Malice now that all of them have been introduced.

Despair Sanders

Real Name: Jean Ezra Sanders

What They Represent: Jealousy, Envy, and Despair

Animal Half: Chameleon.

The Ways This Manifests In Them: His ablity to camouflage himself when hiding, the scales that cover his hands, his cold-bloodedness, and his tail.

Height: He’s the shortest of both the dark sides and the sides collectively at 4′10 (the fully grown ones, of course, Nathanael is actually the shortest side since he’s still a child).

Their Color: His color is orange, though he can make some other colors like pink or yellow. But he does prefer to make his own color.

Hobbies: He loves playing trick on the people of the Imagination, not that he can and/or does anymore. Usually his pranks were coordinated with Skye(Insomnia) and Rey(Rebel), who usually help him with it, and Devin(Apathy), who was their lookout.

Personality Resembles: He used to have a personality similar to the MCU Loki, albeit much calmer and a lot less murderous. Now he is a much meeker more docile version of himself from Malin grooming him to be that way.

Favorite Color: His favorite color is, of course, orange, but he loves both peach and yellowy-orange the most, but he doen’t make them anymore because Malin gets mad at him if he makes colors that mix with other sides’ colors.

About Them: He’s very secretive, he likes to keep things to himself if he can. He does this with all his weaknesses especially, he hates others knowing what to do to bring him down.

Fun Fact About Them: He used to wear a mask before Virgil left, but has since stopped because Malin broke it.

What They Wear: Usual clothes are an orange sweater of some kind, black or grey jeans, and knee length black boots (usually with short heels or wedges because he’s so tiny).

Their Hair:  His hair hangs down in front of his right eye giving him some true emo vibes (it looks like Patton’s hair when it flopped in his face at the end of Moving On Part 2).

Apathy Sanders

Real Name: Devin Ashton Sanders

What They Represent: Depression, Apathy

Animal Half: Rabbit/Bunny.

The Ways This Manifests In Them: Fluffy hair, he’s the quickest runner by far of all the sides, he’s great at hearing things he shouldn’t, and his puffy brown tail.

Height: 5′4

Their Color: Pink, he makes a lot of color once he moves to the light side, but he doesn’t when he’s on the dark side.

Hobbies: Making music, making songs, recording vocals for songs.

Personality Resembles: His personality is a lot like April Ludgate, as he’s closed himself off to expressing his emotions during the last seven years, so as to not allow Malin to manipulate him like he did with Deceit and Despair.

Favorite Color: He likes dusty rose pink the most, but coral pink is a close runner up.

About Them: Dev is very antisocial now, but he used to be slightly more social and less reclusive, back when Virgil and Deceit lived in the dark side.

Fun Fact About Them: He loves old records, he makes almost every song he’s ever come across into a vinyl record and he plays them at night, usually when Malice is asleep, so he can hear his favorite songs without fear of them being broken again.

What They Wear: He used to wear a lot of skirts and cute shirts. But has since stopped once Deceit left and Malin started attempting to groom any other dark side into his new spouse. He now wears black sweatpants and long sleeve sweatshirts or hoodies.

Their Hair: Since his hair is a lot softer than other sides’, his hair is exceptionally fluffy and wild. His hair is usally is simply over his eyes because he can’t control it. Sometimes he pins it up with bobby pins to see.

Insomnia Sanders

Real Name: Skye Isaac Sanders

What They Represent: Courage and Insomnia

Animal Half: Hedgehog.

The Ways This Manifests In Them: Naturally spiky hair, 

Height: 6 foot even, he used to like to using his height to carry around the shorter dark sides and was the designated cabinet helper.

Their Color: Brown, he makes a lot of color since he has the freedom to do so in the Imagination and as its citizen as well as a side.

Hobbies: Metal and woodwork, he makes everything from full blown metal armor or just little wooden dolls he sends to Devin and Rey.

Personality Resembles: Undertaker from Black Butler. He likes doing things his own way, he doesn’t like others telling him what to do. He also very much likes tricks and jokes.

Favorite Color: Dark brown like oak tree bark.

About Them: He has his own quests out in the Imagination, he likes keeping the villagers safe and, in return, they let him live in one of their towns so he doesn’t have to go home.

Fun Fact About Them: He’s an excellent bladesmith and metalworker and he loves doing so. He’s made this job in the town he lives in and the citizens love his metalwork.

What They Wear: Usually, jeans and a tee shirt because he never knows when he’ll start a new project. Sometimes, he’ll put on a graphic tee shirt and an open button up with jeans if he knows he doesn’t have a project for a while.

Their Hair: His hair is pulled back into a bun for convenience of his quests.

Rebel Sanders

Real Name: Rey Dorian Sanders

What They Represent: Rebelliousness, Insecurity (fused side)

Animal Half: Turtle.

The Ways This Manifests In Them: Thick skin (all his tattoos via the tebori method because it was the only way to get through to make them), ability to breathe underwater for kind of long durations of time, he gets a lot more introverted when scared, and his sensitivity to loud noises, vibrations, and sudden bright lights.

Height: 5′6.

Their Color: Green, he loves making anything green, he makes it quite frequently in the form of paint.

Hobbies: He loves making art even though he’s not the Creative side.

Personality Resembles: His personality very much resembles Sam Manson from Danny Phantom.

Favorite Color: Both mint green and deep forest green, he likes to use them both a lot in his art.

About Them: Rey has a lot of trust issues having to live on his own without his room in the Grey Area, so he’s not very friendly unless he knows who you are. But these issues will be solved soon, hopefully.

Fun Fact About Them: He’s secretly married to Insomnia and Apathy. They don’t have much physical contact (with Rey staying in the grey side, Skye in the Imagination, and Devin staying in the dark side house) but they still love each other a lot and text a lot. Their weekly date nights are a videochat.

What They Wear: Ripped black jeans, black platformed boots, and either a green tank top that’s always covered in paint from his latest art excursion or a black and white skull tank top with a black leather jacket over it.

Their Hair: Despair likes to french braid his hair so he usually wears his hair braided from front to back with it in a bun at the back end of his longer hair (he is a weak weak man to big puppy dog eyes, plus it’s the only alone time they get when he visits the dark side when Malin is resting).

Loyalty Sanders

Real Name: Nathanael Damon Sanders

What They Represent: Loyalty, Trust, Faith

Animal Half: Gecko.

The Ways This Manifests In Them: His clinginess, if prompted, he can stick to things with his hands and feet, his tail, and he loves a lot of fruits.

Height: N/A, still a baby.

Their Color: No set color. But he’s the only dark side able to make the color white.

Hobbies: N/A.

Presonality Resembles: N/A.

Favorite Color: He loves the colors yellow, orange, and purple, but he can’t make them. 

About Them: He has a gecko toy that both Deceit and Virgil made together during the week they had him. When Nathanael ‘died’ his gecko toy was left in his crib until Deceit found his room again.

Fun Fact About Them: Nathanael loves being held when he sleeps. If you put him down, he gets fussy. He loves cuddling with his parents.

What They Wear: Various onesies. But his favorite is a white one with purple bats on the body and a yellow snake around the neck.

Their Hair: Fluffy blonde hair that still has yet to darken. Permanant state of bedhead.

Malice Sanders

Real Name: Malin Ian Sanders

What They Represents: Malice, Insanity, and Greed

Animal Half: Rat.

The Ways This Manifests In Them: His ability to hear extremely well, his tail, his beady eyes, and his habit to bite things.

Height: He’s tallest dark side, but not the tallest collective side, at 6′2.

Their Color: He can’t make any color, but his color is grey.

Hobbies: He doesn’t do much, he doesn’t like doing things, he deems it a ‘wife thing’ (which is what he refers to Despair and Deceit as, even though neither identify themselfs as transgender women and both have stated to him that it’s against their preference). 

Personality Resembles: Joffrey Baratheon from Game of Thrones (in the sense of his sadistic nature, his tyrannical views, and his temperment) and Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory (in the sense of selfishness, insensitivity, arrogance, and inflated ego) [OP Note: I don’t watch these two shows, so feel free to scream at me if it’s not accurate]

Favorite Color: He can’t make color so he says he doesn’t have a favorite color, but it’s dark grey (his eye color).

About Them: He doesn’t like breaking schedule unless there’s a special exception (like when he kidnapped Deceit), he’s very particular about his schedule, what he does, what others do, and what happens. And, if something breaks schedule, he gets unhappy and has a fit.

Fun Fact About Them: He’s the darkest side in the sense of morality and doesn’t even regret his own actions to get there.

What They Wear: Usual clothes are a pair of baggy black jeans, a black tee shirt and black steel-toe boots.

Their Hair: His hair is spiked up into a pseudo-mohawk because he claims he’s the punk side (he’s not, that’s Rebel).

[foreignerabroad1994]

Baby Hut: Writing Prompt Short Story

My response to the following writing prompt to u/MidKnightshade on the WritingPrompts subreddit:

[WP] After graduating with honors your grandmother Baba Yaga brought you a home. It’s the offspring of her house. It’s a tiny little hut right now but she explains it will get bigger as it gets older. However the hut is a little clingy, follows you everywhere since it’s afraid it will be abandoned.

"Baby, you can't come in here. They don't let in... houses. You need to stay in the car like I told you to."

Baby hut meowls, scratching at the rubbery floor of the supermarket's entryway with his little talons. The sound blows through the tiny door at its front porch, beseeching.

"You don't even eat food!" I try to reason with the little munchkin, my hands on my hips like a dad at the beach.

Baby hut isn't a fan of this reasoning, either. He bumps his shingly roof into my palm, and I wince as the edge pokes into my skin. I sigh.

"Fine, but don't touch anything, don't bump into anything, and stay close to me, okay?"

Baby hut teeters, his side window opening and closing. Grandma's hut usually did that with her back windows. I wonder at the genetics of sentient huts. I should probably name mine, but in two weeks of cohabiting with baby hut in my tiny studio apartment, inspiration hasn't struck yet. Maybe grandma can whip up a spell to help me think this through. I dismiss the thought - the whole point is relying on myself now. I'm a university graduate now, with a law degree, and can legally drink. I can also cast about twenty spells decently well, twenty three if you squint and ignore the green goo.

So I nudge the little bugger in with me, before stopping him and grabbing his leash. I then use it to fasten the small cart to his porch railing.

"There, you can help me carry things. Good little helper, you are." I smile fondly as baby hut preens, shaking around like a happy chicken, making a rickety noise as he does. His legs are still a bit too short, his talons still more like needles than massive blades. Grandma says they take a few years to grow big enough to live in.

It starts off pretty well. I introduce baby hut to the big refrigerated section with a flourish, explaining how one day, he too will house a fridge. Baby hut is fascinated, the two twin windows at the front of the attic, just above the front porch, widening with a wooden creak of delighted awe.

I toss some vegetables into the cart, ignoring the baffled stares of the other shoppers as baby hut patters after me clumsily, the cart wheeling behind him.

It's when I turn the corner into the Halloween aisle that things take a dive. Literally.

At the screechy display of cheap plastic decor with a pretty offensive cackling witch at the bottom, baby hut grinds to a stop. At the top of the display is a large skeleton, a plastic thing, waving its hand up and down like those cat figurines I saw in Chinatown. Before I can haul him away, baby hut howls happily through his chimney and begins frantically climbing up the crates covered with ugly orange and black felt.

"Baby hut, no! That's not uncle Sheldon!"

But baby hut is squealing happily, barely noticing the contents of my cart flying out to the floor or all around, dousing a truly horrified woman with a cross around her neck with almond milk that explodes on the floor. Oranges tumble away and trip an older man, who crashes to the side and tumbles over a selection of, thankfully, newly launched seasonal toilet paper. It's pumpkin spice scented, which is vaguely horrifying.

"Baby hut, get back here right now!" I try to grab for him, but he's too quick, his stumpy legs hopping further up as fabric and plastic slide all around him, some sticking to the ends of his talons.

"What is going on here!?" an outraged store managers storms into the aisle, her face contorted in outrage.

"My... hut is a bit confused, I just need to-"

"Get that thing out of this store right now, before I call..." she sputters, likely not sure if she should call animal control, the cops, or the nearest asylum.

"I'm trying!" I say as I make another unsuccessful grab for baby hut. He finally gets to the top of the pile, nudging at the automatic waving hand that's still impressively attached to the cheap skeleton, requesting pets. When the hand goes up and down, baby hut jumps up towards it, prepared to play. When he loses his patience within seconds, he nudges the skeleton roughly till it tumbles and drapes over his roof. And then he takes off, jumping off the pile of crates and chaos and running into another aisle.

"What in the world-" a man clutches his box of chicken fingers to his chest as I race by him, right on baby hut's tail.

"Sorry!" I yell behind me as I hear a crash closer to the exit.

It takes almost thirty minutes to catch baby hut, who, it turns out, can climb rather high, and refuses to come down off of the shelves for half that time, jumping around, convinced this was an elaborate scheme to amuse him. At least three employees try to coax him down, but he isn't having any of that.

When I have my arms wrapped around the little baby, his short chicken legs are frantically jostling us both, but I don't let go as I look up from the floor, covered in some stains I probably won't be able to take out of these clothes, my hair a riotous mess of black curls around my head, and three store employees and several customers looming over me.

"Out," the store manager strains, a vein nearly popping in her increasingly purple-looking forehead.

I nod, muttering apologies nobody hears, and hustle the windowed menace out of the store.

I buckle him into the passenger seat, slug my way around the car, and slip in. I close the door and look at him, frowning.

"That was not okay."

Baby hut looks almost sheepish, closing the curtains of his front windows.

"No no, you don't get to-"

But I stop myself. It's on me, bringing the little chicken house with me just because he made a... face. I sigh and pat his roof.

"I think I finally have a name for you."

Baby hut opens one curtain.

"Let's go home, Jerry. I'll put on some YouTube videos for you. I actually wanted pizza today anyways."

Jerry meowls as I pull out of the parking lot, calling for pizza on speed dial - and drive my future house home.

[jcalousy]

ROMANTIC HEADCANONS.

name : Sheldon J. Plankton

nickname : Shelly ( by Eugene ), Planky ( by Eugene, when they were kids ), Plankton ( by everyone )

gender : male

romantic orientation : biromantic

sexual orientation :  bisexual

preferred pet names : any, but he’s got a particular fondness for being called daddy or baby

relationship status : he recently separated from his wife, but they’re still technically married at least until the paperwork goes through... short answer is he’s single, I guess?

opinion on true love : He believes it’s out there, somewhere, but he’s not sure if he’ll ever find it.

opinion on love at first sight : He definitely believes in it!

how ‘romantic’ are they? : He’s a pretty big flirt when he’s into somebody; being physically affectionate with them, holding their hand, looking into their eyes when he speaks to them, flirting with them / complimenting them often, buying them things that he can afford, etc. but when it comes to actually articulating how he feels for that person in words-- well, he’s still gotta work on that. Little sweet observations come easily from him, but actually admitting he loves that other person is going to take a lot.

ideal physical traits : Someone either MUCH larger than him or the exact same size as him. There is no in-between. More often than not, he likes muscular or otherwise strong men-- not necessarily body-builders, but definitely people that could hold their own in a fight. Women, he likes tall and curvy-- but not excessively so. He doesn’t mind being shorter than his partners. In fact, he almost prefers it.

ideal personality traits : loyal, independent almost to the point of being distant, hard shell to crack, funny, intelligent, forgives him easily but doesn’t easily forgive other people, accepts him for who he is and doesn’t try to change him, doesn’t back down from a challenge, hidden heart of gold

unattractive physical traits : bad hygiene, uncombed hair, unshaven women, small / frail men, bad breath / teeth

unattractive personality traits : excessively loud, doesn’t know when to back off, clingy, overly affectionate, tearful / easily cries, cowardly

ideal date : a fancy dinner / movie, followed by a nighttime walk on the beach to a nice place that they could sit together and watch the sunset. They’d probably wind up someplace very quiet and private, ideally with some soft music or hand holding / cuddling. Not necessarily lots of talking. Just letting their actions speak for how they feel, for once.

do they have a type? : People consistently much larger and stronger than him, often with at least a few of the ideal personality traits I mentioned. 

average relationship length : Well, his longest ever relationship was like... 35+ years long. But most of his more recent secret relationships ( which occurred while he was still married ) lasted for only a few days. They were casual, meaningless things mostly.

commitment level : He’s a notorious cheater, even when he’s involved with someone he supposedly ‘loves’-- but i’d like to think that if he ever truly truly loved somebody he’d put his all into the relationship.

opinion of public affection : As if he cares about other peoples’ opinions lmao. His sweet-talking and constant flirting will make anyone in earshot sick with how sweet it is, if the hand-holding and constant touching with his partner doesn’t do the job first.

past relationships? : Karen.

favorite canon ship : Plabs! I think it counts, since they technically got married during Married to Money!

favorite non-canon ship : If Married to Money doesn’t count to you, then I guess my favorite non-canon ship is still Plabs LOL.

notps: Plankton x Mama Krabs is the only one I can think of right off the top of my head, but there might be more I’m forgetting haha

tagged by : @vcrotten and @hellionhelios

tagging : @greasy-n-greedy @squareyellowfellow @squidink-tortellini @aquaticsquirrcl @rcginaxgnis @iamdiffercnt @duckavcnger and whomever else that wants to, of course ♥

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff ~ Stray Thoughts - {MLP} The Maud Couple

This episode is brought to you by the word RUDE.

Maud Pie: The McElroy brothers of comedy

Huh, I can���t tell if they’re laughing at Pinkie, with Pinkie, at Maud, or with Maud.

Thanks Ponker Po, you made your sister uncomfortable

NEW INTRO! The visuals, Spike getting out of the way, Starlight’s barely in it, the token troop is there (with my fav) all for a group photo, Flurry Heart is there with her cardboard parents, the throne still looks hideous, EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL!!!

Pinkie is really clingy to her sister. Not even my family’s could ever be that close, and most are dead.

“Whip Cream Pyramids” HOOOO BOBBO! Implications.

Pinkie, quit being so goddamn rude

Pinkie, don’t hop into a new scene like that, that’s still rude.

I think Maud heard Pinkie’s squee all that night and booked it hours earlier

Pinkie and the Yaks are really close. I got some catching up to do

OBLIGATORY DERPY CAMEO! Stop stroking the fandom, DHX, fuck

Don’t you just love when Pinkie makes Starlight the most reasonable?

Also, Granny Smith’s Wax Museum. I am genuinely interested in Granny Smith’s Wax Museum

You know what I’m finding creepy now? That walking cycle all the ponies do. Like I can see the exact frame where they immediately put Pinkie in a regular walking cycle before making her move differently. I know it’s flash animated, but ehh, it looked so weird now noticing it

Starlight, being a cool G

Pinkie, you just cut Mobbu in line, stop being so fucking rude

OH NO, I wonder who this cardboard looking, bowl cut having pony is gonna be in this story

OK, I already had enough of this dude.

I wanna guess his name, based on his cutie mark....Mud Fuckstick!

There is a difference between speaking with precision and talking logically with a good sense of pace. If I hear this character has implied autism, I’m gonna silently shriek

Maud, just because you have a boyfriend, doesn’t mean you couldn’t leave a note at home if Pink Ponk came by. Common courtesy.

Also, OH SHIT, she emoted for a sec.

A rock for a boyfriend? I mean sure, they can ride a pony for miles, but Boulder’s your soul mate.

*GASP* MUD FUCKSTICK?!

Guess Pinkie got pie on her face

Mud Fuckstick missed one yes during that to and fro, so he can’t say he’s that precise with communicating (I kinda grown to his voice, though)

I learned about Petrified Wood during a Mineral Show last fall. They are actually pretty neat when you see them up close, especially when the archaeologists smooth them out to where it almost looks like glass.

Oh ho hooo, I’ve fallen for this chemistry. Seeing Maud and Mud smile is making me smile.

Also, “It was a Stickshow” (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖) Mmmmmmplications

Pinkie, that’s RUDE and you’re triggering him! Plus, you use metal bats for piñatas

“Stick abuse” ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉)

MR. TWIG!

Think before you speak, Pinkie. Jesus Christ.

Huh, Mud Fuckstick, while less good than Maud, is a pretty patient and tolerable guy. Reminds me of Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, irritating if not respectful. Ouch, I just complimented The Big Bang Theory. Eww.

And I know it’s Mudbriar, but Mud Fuckstick stuck with me. 

I got it, DHX, you’re reversing the original “Maud Pie” episode to make Pinkie go through what her friends went through. Clever, but only for so long.

Mud, let her call it a “cave”. Don’t have to speak on every detail at her.

Oh look, A Sherlock reference. Or is it? I never cared for the new Sherlock, I wouldn’t really know. Still a nice scene though

Maud doesn’t like surprises. Huh, I can relate. 

Pinkie, Maud doesn’t have to share everything with you. That’s creepy, gross, and honestly annoying.

I don’t know who I wanna scream at more: Pinkie Pie or Mud Fuckstick

So, does parties always have to be big, loud, eye-candy filled spectacles? They can’t just be quiet, relaxing, intimate get togethers? I thought you knew better, Pinkie. What is wrong with you?

I’m also reminded of that one song from Phineas and Ferb. If you’re a good fan of it, you’ll know.

Okay, forget everything. I am intrigued by kites. Seriously, how do they stay up in the air like that? What the first thing you should do, Starlight?

There are other words beside “technically”. I thought a person like Maud would be keen on synonymous diction.

Glad the other main VAs could get a $100 check for the scene. Twilight saying “I never learned to read” is honestly the funniest line in the show. Hands down.

Previously, on Rock Dynasy

Marble and Limestone showing more emotion? HOO boy, this show’s pulling out all the stops

Ah, the classic “It is what is on the inside that counts” message. I hate you yet again, show. I really, really HATE you right now!

So he can shake hands with somebody if you throw him a good stick. Classic Fuckstick.

I’m glad everyone’s just agreeing to celebrate literal cardboard. Least creepy way of going about a birthday. Glad Spike’s enjoying himself.

Guess Starlight didn’t want to be with Maud too? Welp, back to the background she goes.

I guess Pinkie still doesn’t find Mud all that appealing. Oh well, what can you do with potential in-laws?

Until next time, *sniff* Mud Fuckstick. Or never.

So the lesson of the day is it’s not that one should have mutual boundaries on how they go about presenting themselves towards others, it’s that you should suck it up and just appreciate them for who they are to others.

MY LITTLE PONY: Friendship is Increasing Your Tolerance

[thebiggestbigbangtheoryfan-blog]

Part 3: Bernadette’s Bombshell

Yesterday was wild!!! Amy and Sheldon’s wedding reception was a complete mess, but in the end everything turned out fine.

It was off to a good start, everything was going according to Amy’s plans. The reception was held at a really fancy banquet hall that was decorated with thousands of fake flowers. Raj, the unofficial wedding designer, originally wanted real flowers but Sheldon, of course would have had an allergic reaction. It was still gorgeous. However, Raj, Leonard and Howard decided to show up wearing hideous superhero tuxedos and Amy could not believe it! Raj was wearing a horrible green tux because he was the riddler; Leonard was wearing a metallic blue tux because he was superman; and Howard was wearing a tight Batman tux. At that point, Amy was really hoping that Sheldon would be reasonable and he show up wearing the tux that she picked. But, of course, he walked in wearing a bright red and gold Ironman tuxedo. Amy was shocked, but as long as Sheldon didn’t make his speech in Klingon the wedding would continue as usual.

Everything afterwards seemed like the wedding was going to be a success, but towards the end of the night, just before Amy made the toast, the night suddenly turned crazy. I am the only one able to recall the full story because I had to take care of Halley. Everyone else was pretty tipsy which probably caused the chaos.

Sheldon had gotten drunk after two drinks of champagne that Penny forced on him by telling him it was just sparkling grape juice. I don’t know why he believed her. He might have been trying to act like Tony Stark. I am pretty sure Leonard was asleep for the whole thing and only woke up to eat some cake that landed on his face much to Penny’s distaste. Howard usually becomes super clingy after a few drinks. I did not have to deal with him during the wedding because he was sitting next to Raj on the groom’s side of the table. I did not see what they were up to, but he almost went home with Raj afterwards. I think Raj really needs to get a girlfriend.

The big problem was when Penny spotted that Dr. Nowitzki had slipped into the party and was sitting unnoticed with a bottle of wine. Of course being the dutiful and slightly drunk maid of honor, she went to make sure that Dr. Nowitzki would not ruin the bride’s special day. The confrontation quickly escalated to whisper shouting, as they did not want to draw attention to themselves. Penny ended up shoving Dr. Nowitzki for trying to ruin the party.

So just as Amy stood up to give the toast, Dr. Nowitzki noisily crashed into the dessert table. All eyes were on the cake that was catapulted into the air. It was as if time wasn’t moving as the guests followed the trajectory of the cake. Poor Amy didn’t even see it coming. One second everything was perfect, then suddenly she was covered in 4 tiers of alternating chocolate and red velvet cake with vanilla icing. I had never seen her so angry. Without a word, she moved to the buffet, picked up a bowl of mashed potatoes, walked over to Dr. Nowitzki and silently dumped the food on her head. Everyone’s jaws dropped to the floor. Then Penny broke the silence with a slow clap. Sheldon must have thought it was a game and threw his plate of food at Penny, and suddenly everyone started throwing food at each other.

Everyone was laughing by the end. Dr. Nowitzki must have been extremely drunk because I think I saw her go home with Stuart. All things considered, it turned out to be a really fun wedding!

[kazziemuse]

Big Bang Theory 10x23 spoilers

Spoilers Below!

Shamy were incredibly cute in this episode. It really marks how much they have grown to rely on one another, especially Sheldon. Amy has the offer for a 3 month placement at Princeton. She is incredibly excited about it but also incredibly nervous to approach Sheldon about the subject. She talks about it with the girls and and urge her to go for it, Its an opportunity she cant refuse. Amy is obviously concerned about leaving Sheldon on his own. Long story short, The guys have finished phase 1 of their military project and they are excited to start the second phase. They arrive at the university in high spirits to get started only find their lab had completely been emptied. The guys are pretty upset to find the military are responsible for this. The military had decided to take the project into their own hands and the guys were no longer needed. Sheldon, Howard and Leonard are heading back up to the apartment in low spirits, The enter the apartment to find it completely empty, Nothing there at all. Exactly the same situation as walking into their lab. They are all visibly confused and re-visting the earlier trauma before they realise they are still on the third floor and walked into he wrong apartment by mistake. They cautiously enter 4A and are relived to see the familiar surroundings and the rest of the gang there. They join their respected wives (and raj). Everyone tried to comfort the guys after losing their project but they insist on changing the subject. Penny pointed out that Amy had some news to which the attention points to her. As Sheldon is upset she doesn't want to break the Princeton news to him just yet and shifts focus on Raj's news on him moving out of 4A and moving in with Bert as his roommate. The girls are walking in the park with Bernadette pushing Hally in her push chair. They are urging Amy to go to Princeton and how she cant miss this opportunity, Sheldon will be fine. Bernadette expresses her concern for Howard as he has become incredibly needy and clingy since losing the military project. After some more dialog with Amy, Howard is seen to run over and join the girls. He greets Bernadette with hugs and kisses reinforcing Bernadette's earlier concerns about his behavior. We cut to 4B. Its the next day and Amy is cooking oatmeal for Sheldon. She is hoping to cheer him up with food he likes to approach the subject of Princeton to him. Sheldon enters and he is still pretty down about the project, He apologizes that his bowel movements have not been to schedule. Amy comforts him and serves him up his oatmeal just as he likes it, Plain. She advises Sheldon he should take this opportunity to shift focus onto another project. Sheldon seems to light up at this idea and suggest they start working more on their joint research. Amy knowing this would be near impossible if she was leave shoots down the idea quickly stating that if they proved the theory, They are still paying $3 for a loaf of bread at the end of it anyway so whats the rush. Sheldon immediately becomes suspicious she Amy rejects the notion of spending more time together and feeding him his favorite oatmeal. He confronts her and asks her whats going on. Amy finally spills that she has an opportunity to go to Princeton on a research project for 3-4 months. Sheldon immediately tells her she must go but he is visibly troubled by her leaving. He is trying to support the idea but he snaps and storms off to the bedroom. He is totally not ok with it. Howard and Bernadette are at home and Hoard is continuing to be needy and clingy. Bernadette decides it time they have a talk about his behavior. This is a very cute scene as Howard acknowledges his behavior but completely turns it around to prove to Bernadette does exactly the same thins when she loses work project. One example is that it lead to them having Hally. Bernadette is apologetic and immediately gives into Howards neediness. The roll onto the bed kissing. Next, We see Leonard assisting Raj with moving his boxed downstairs. As they approach the 3rd floor they can here someone playing harmonic from within 3A. They both enter to see Sheldon sitting alone of the floor playing the harmonica. He is incredibly sad and expresses that everyone and everything is leaving him. He lost his project, he is losing his girlfriend.. He is sad and alone. Raj suggest with him now gone, Sheldon could move back into his old room so Sheldon doesn't have to be alone. Leonard asks to speak to Raj out in the hallway for a moment and instead shuts the door behind Raj so he was out of the room. Leonard sits next to Sheldon to offer him advice on what to do with Amy. He tells him that he is not losing her and that Amy will only be gone a few months and he needs to show her how much of a supportive boyfriend he can be. 4B and amy is sitting on the couch on her computer. Sheldon enters holding a suitcase as a gift he got for Amy. He tells her this is an opportunity she cant refuse and as a supportive boyfriend he wants her to go, He got her this case that has been tested to survive a plane crash, So maybe Amy should trade inside the case. Amy stands up and is taken aback by his gesture. She walks towards him and asks him if he is really sure about this and he says. "Sheldon!" Amy says in inviting tone while wrapping her arms around him and planting a kiss on him. They kiss (very much like the Harry potter robe kiss) in one another arms until Sheldon breaks off and says, "I know its not your birthday, but we could continue this with intimate love making: (Disclaimer, This is not the actual line, and I for the love of me cant remember what he actually said, so this is just a guide to what happened in this scene, But y'all will die okay?). Amy agrees to coitus but only if Sheldon is sure to which he is. They continue kissing and Sheldon pulls back quickly to reinforce something. "Just know, This coitus is in no way a ploy to get you to stay" Its a very tender scene and the delivery is very sweet. Amy smiles at Sheldon and acknowledges that she understands. Sheldon goes onto say because when she is at princeton, He cant give her this, And he cant give her his goods via Skype. Amy smiles mischievously. Sheldon says "so lets go to the bedroom, Take off our cloths, fold them neatly and make passionate love". (Again not actual words but very close". He takes her hand and leads Amy to the bedroom, while they are making their way there, Amy says in caught a naught tone, "How about we take off our cloths, DONT fold them up neatly and then make passionate love" Still hand in hand they stop at the door ways and Sheldon responds in a very Sexual way, "or how about we Do fold up our clothes" Hand and hand they walk into the bedroom. Next scene is Raj in the hallway saying goodbye to Penny and Leonard at the door. They get interrupted when Sheldon shouts from 4B Bedroom " Oh Amy you naughty Vixen". The guys seem disturbed with what was going on next door, Someone suggested going in there to see what was happening but after amy shouts out something like "Oh Sheldon, that is a great method to cause forward stimulation" (Again I cant remember what exactly it was but it was something science-y turned sexy". The guys just all look on with a "nope" look on their faces.. It ends with Sheldon shouting WOOHOOOO. 4B and Amy is ready to leave. Sheldon is upset but he's trying to be supportive. He walks her down to the car telling her to call him as soon as she gets to the airport, "I Will" And to the gate? "I will", And when you arrive in New Jersey? "I Will".. The last line was Sheldon.. "And if you meet another scientist as smart as me and as tall as me, I want you to step away from him and call me immediately"

End 

-Kaz 

[keenregine]

The Expressionless Variable Right when I started watching The Big Bang Theory, I noticed some few changes in my behavior whenever I’m communicating with people. Several times I find myself in a middle of conversation where everyone is laughing and I’m just standing there wondering which ‘part’ of the conversation is funny. Did I miss something? Or it was just a really lame joke? Sometimes, things that can usually make me laugh will instead turn into something irritable. It should turn out quite the opposite I reckon. Because BBT is a comedy sit-com and one should make a person more joyful and see the entire world as happy place, but it worked out the other way around for me. To give an honest example, a friend and I went out to a nearby bookstore after work and before heading back home to pick up a taxi we came across our colleague just outside the establishment. It was windy as hell around that time and she’s asking us if we have an idea on how to fix her internet service blah blah blah. I was only half listening bothered by the strong wind lifting our abaya’s off. Three of us were standing alongside a garbage can and the wind was blowing hard towards us. Neither one of us guessed what can possibly happen next. The plastic containing the dirty garbage went inside out and bursts all over the place. One of which (I think it’s an empty plastic cup) flew into our colleagues’ mouth while she was talking loudly. She was shocked of course and little embarrassed so we went inside to continue our conversation. My friend was continuously laughing about what she perceived as a funny incident right until our way home, she was laughing non-stop regarding the matter which I don’t really find it funny at all but I forced myself to laugh a little. Trying to be nice hehe. Another situation was whenever I’m at work and the whole group is laughing, given the fact that I heard the whole story and they eventually laugh at the end, I will politely smile but deep inside I can’t’ feel a thing. So I ‘ll just walk away slowly to stop pretending. Because honestly, there is totally none. I’m hard as a rock. I turned into an apathetic, expressionless individual. Most times I see myself laughing hard these days is only whenever I watch the show. No other movie or any kind of motion picture had tickled my senses like what it did to me now. I’m guessing it made my humor went a bit deeper than it used to. That even any kind of silly situations cannot make me easily laugh just like before. I’m on season six and I’m loving it more than ever, wishing it will not end. Sheldon, who’s one of the main characters that I hated before due to his too controlling attitude and being a know-it-all, had made me realize that without him, it will never be the same. His three other friends though, Leonard, Raj and Howard are also as funny. They are a group of intelligent scientists (physicist ,experimental physicist ,astrophysicist with doctorate degrees and everything, except for Howard who’s always being bullied not having a doctorate because he is an aero-space engineer (Masters’), but hey he went to space to be an astronaut which is a total biggie) trying to find the hardest way to hit on a girl successfully without possibly being rejected. But most of the time they do, having lack of vast experience in the field. And as the story goes, eventually each person will end up having a relationship with someone unexpected. Even Sheldon who’s in no way interested in girls, scooped up one. Where he made up a written girlfriend-boyfriend agreement signed by each parties accordingly, including all of these crazy unbelievable rules as if every step of the relationship should only be abided by what is written. Amateurs. It’s funny how Howard and his mom talk to each other. It’s funny how Raj cannot talk to any women unless he’s drunk or under anti-anxiety medication experiment. It’s cute how Leonard chases Penny all the time being clingy and all. Okay. That’s seven-hundred ten words total count. I’ll stop here.

[nothingman]

Once upon a time, TV’s nerds, geeks, freaks and “poindexters” were woefully confined to the positions of victim, underdog or comic relief, but as geek culture began to grow into its current golden age of mainstream credibility, the archetypal TV nerd has grown with it. Departing from our traditional understanding of alpha-male characters commanding social authority through physical prowess, the alpha-nerd’s dominance is asserted through intellectual superiority.

“Smart is the new sexy,” Stephen Moffat declared through Irene Adler’s mouth in the first season of Sherlock. Moffat’s retooling of Arthur Conan-Doyle’s brilliant detective is the full realization of the alpha-nerd 1.0 design he partially grafted onto The Doctor in Doctor Who, a direct reflection of Chuck Lorre’s Dr. Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory, and to a certain extent, Hugh Laurie’s Dr. Gregory House from House. Unfortunately, the alpha-nerd has inherited all of his ancestral bully’s bad habits: belittling his ‘inferiors’, equating emotional sensitivity with weakness, and poor treatment of women. It is these traits that expose the underlying toxicity of his sharp wit, making his prominence in otherwise fairly well written TV shows frustratingly off-putting.

First, lets get the ‘sick rather than a dick’ scapegoat theories out of the way. A whole heap as been written online about the possibility that characters like Sherlock Holmes’ and Sheldon Cooper’s socially dysfunctional temperaments are in fact down to undiagnosed disorders like autism and Asperger’s syndrome.

I’ll tackle Sheldon first. Though this reading is a fair one—and even applauded by some in the autism community—it was disproven all the way back in 2009 by co-creator Bill Prady. So, when Sheldon says horrible ‘hilarious’ lines like, “I never said that you’re not good at what you do. It’s just that what you do is not worth doing,” or “It must be humbling to suck on so many different levels,” it’s not because of a developmental disorder of the brain—he’s just a dick. Similarly, when he espouses that, “Sheldon Cooper does not cry,” or that “feelings” belong at a “hippy love-in”, it’s not because he can’t process his or others’ emotions, it’s just that he chooses not to, and uses this choice as a verbal stick with which he beats his underlings into submission.

Unlike Prady, Moffat is unafraid of labels, demonstrated by Sherlock’s self-diagnosis in the pilot: “I’m not a psychopath […] I’m a highly-functioning sociopath, do your research!” Okay, so he gets a free pass for dick-ishness, right? Nope. Someone who actually did her research is psychologist Mary Konnikova. “Psychopaths and sociopaths are the exact same thing,” she explained in an essay for i09. On Holmes’ apparent lack of emotion, she went on to say: “It’s not that he doesn’t experience any emotion. It’s that he has trained himself to not let emotions cloud his judgment.”

Whilst these empathy lobotomies allow for the quick-fire burns these characters are loved for, they still create an inconsistency between what we’re supposed to accept about them and their actions. If the benefit of masterfully controlling your emotions is increased analytical productivity, then why waste the mental on the quips and insults at all?

It’s because it’s not enough to be the smartest of the smart; an alpha-nerd has to constantly assert his intellectual dominance over his peers through degradation of their self-esteem, accomplishments and inability to control their emotions as effectively as he can. In the ‘Jock World’ of the traditional alpha-male, this would be the equivalent of picking smaller dudes up by the lapel and ramming them into lockers.

This makes the women of an alpha-nerd’s world, whom stereotyping dictates as the least able to keep feelings out of their analytical and decision-making processes, attract the most ire from the alpha. (See: most of Sheldon’s interactions with waitress Penny, and likewise for Sherlock with the much-maligned pathologist Molly Hooper.)

Unlike the traditional alpha-male who establishes power through sexual promiscuity, for the alpha-nerd, it is the suppression of these desires that feeds his superiority further. “I’ve always assumed that love is a dangerous disadvantage,” Sherlock tells Irene Adler in “A Scandal in Belgravia.” Yet, this commitment to non-commitment is always tested by a devilish seductress: the ‘mysterious woman’. Though versions of the trope pop up in fiction all over the place, in this context, mysterious women serve as singular female characters who can match or occasionally best the alpha-nerd’s brilliance, as well as try to nullify accusations of poor gender representation. Whereas intelligent men are challengers to the throne, the mysterious woman’s intelligence is at once threatening and alluring. Alluring because she has womanly bits. And she knows what to do with them.

This is where the ‘mysterious’ element lies. Sherlock can ‘read’ anyone to make astounding deductions, so in “The Sign Of Three,” Irene Adler [otherwise known just as “the woman”] confronts him for the first time in the nude, leaving him utterly speechless. Even with her clothes on, she continues to perplex him longer than his male adversaries, as if the absence of a penis is the missing piece of an unsolvable puzzle. This exact dynamic is oddly mirrored in a long-running gag in The Big Bang Theory, in which Raj Koothrappali (part of the ‘beta-nerd’ pack that alpha, Sheldon, hierarchically dominates) suffers from selective muteness in the presence of women. The undertone is that womanly bodies—Medusa-like—are bizarrely capable of bewitching men into stony silence, their intellectualism, normally expressed through their eloquence, rendered ironically impotent by what their bodies’ desire.

Though she is supposed to counter the alpha-nerd’s ‘quirky’ misogyny with antidotal strength and independence, the ‘mysterious woman’ is also disappointingly little else than a gender-flipped version of him. River Song (Irene Adler’s pre-watershed prototype) is part-Time Lord. Irene Adler is Sherlock Holmes if he turned criminal. TBBT’s Amy Farrah Fowler is basically Sheldon Cooper with more estrogen. (A biological difference that the show uses to slowly mutate its most intelligent female character into the ‘clingy girlfriend’ archetype.)

Everything they do centers around the alpha-nerd. That’s why Irene Alder can self-define as gay and still be in love with Sherlock. Or why River Song can travel anywhere in space and time but always end up by the Doctor’s side. Or why three women with nothing in common other than their nerd pack of boyfriends/husbands in TBBT (Penny, Bernadette and Amy) can magically become BFFs.

What may seem like a whole new breed of leading male protagonist on TV, born from the widespread assimilation of nerd culture into the mainstream, is little more than your average alpha-male with an IQ upgrade. Moffat and Lorre simply disguise old-fashioned chauvinism and macho-posturing as ‘endearing’ eccentricity. Sure, the razor-sharp insults might be funny, but as a female viewer, I just can’t bring myself to root for these misogynistic bullies any longer.

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[nellie-elizabeth]

The Big Bang Theory: The Gyroscopic Collapse (10x23)

This episode felt a tad bit unbalanced, as two very big ideas were introduced and the one sort of supplanted the other. That being said, it's so rare that we have substantive plot in an episode of The Big Bang Theory, so I'm not going to complain.

Cons:

As the episode begins, Howard, Sheldon, and Leonard are celebrating the completion of Phase One on their guidance system. They then discover that the military has swooped in and taken over, and that they are off the project. The guys have to wrestle with the fact that the thing they've worked so hard on is now out of their control, and they might not get recognized for their hard work. This seemed like a really meaty subject to explore, and we did get some hints of exploration. But for the most part, the episode pivoted and became about Amy's impending departure instead. I'm not complaining about the Amy-centric focus, but I found it odd that the next piece of the guidance system plot was thrown in here and then sort of left to flounder.

Pros:

That being said, I did like the way we see each of the guys dealing with it. Leonard seems resigned but mostly okay. Sheldon is upset and indignant, but when he learns that Amy has gotten a job offer that will move her across the country, his emotions are supplanted by that news. And then there's Howard, who becomes very clingy with Bernadette because he doesn't have a project to work on. This is where the straight comedy in the episode comes in, and as I have often found with this show lately, Bernadette and Howard are actually quite funny and sweet. Bernie has a polite conversation with Howard about his tendency to get clingy, and Howard responds by pointing out that Bernadette signed them up for ballroom dancing the last time she had a project taken from her unexpectedly. This isn't a one-sided thing. Pretty cute!

Meanwhile, Raj is moving out of Penny and Leonard's place and into a room at Bert's. Not much really happened here other than the humor of Leonard and Penny both pretending to be bummed out that Raj is leaving, but letting the pretense fall very quickly as it becomes clear how excited they are to have the place to themselves again. Not much to report, but again I'm happy to see the show push forward with some real momentum. Raj is actually progressing through his big life transition instead of stagnating.

In the meatiest plot of the episode, we learn that Amy has been offered a guest lecture job at Princeton. She's hesitant to take it, because she doesn't want to leave Sheldon alone. Sheldon tells her she should go, but is initially quite petty and morose about it. After a talk with Leonard, Sheldon realizes that he needs to be more supportive. He buys Amy some luxury luggage and tells her that he's proud of her and he supports her. It's so strange to me that a relationship like Sheldon and Amy's actually works. We see Sheldon growing as a person through his relationship with Amy, and we see Amy learning to put herself first sometimes and not let Sheldon consume her identity. There were so many great moments with this, from Amy making Sheldon tasteless oatmeal, to the two of them agreeing to have sex as a special occasion (again, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I adore the way this show navigates sex in a relationship where one person is clearly asexual and the other is not). In the end, Sheldon gives Amy various pieces of instruction and advice as he walks her out so she can go to the airport. He tells her to Skype every morning, call when she gets in, and if she ends up working with a handsome scientist, to call him immediately. He peppers all of this funny advice with sincere words of pride and support. I'm really pleased by how the whole thing was handled.

Sheldon is often a selfish child when he doesn't get his way, but we've actually seen some character growth with him, particularly through his relationship with Amy. I hope that we have a bit of time to explore the long-distance relationship thing in next week's finale.

8.5/10